It's 2057, I'm now 80. Recently released after 10 years being a POW, my Libtard children haven't spoken to me since before the Culture War.
<click-bait>News Headline: Why I <contrary point of view><verb><latest trending topic> by <author expected to support topic>.</click-bait>
Trust me. If I wanted to insult you or make you feel like a fool, I would make you aware I already did it four posts ago.
It's 2022, Blue Ivy rolls her eyes after Beyoncé pulls out "I don't think you ready for this jelly" at dessert again, the twins still laugh.
Daily Life: Father relieved to finally know all the words to Makka Pakka's intro song after buying a "In The Night Garden" book with lyrics.
"Having to make up the words while singing it to my child was annoying as fuck, to be honest." Father said when interviewed. "In a way, I was also letting my son down by not being true to the real thing. He may only be two, but I can tell he knew I was lying to him."
"Look, it may be a small thing for some, but at least I'll feel less silly sining the song after putting on the Makka Pakka suit."
Twitter user rejects 280 character increase; "I can abuse people just fine with 140. I don't want that pressure to fill up the space, tbh."
Breaking News: Large spider commits suicide by running into rolled up newspaper. One man taken in for questioning by police, later released.
When interviewed, man said, "Look, I tried to get the paper out of the way, but the spider just kept running at it no matter how much I waved it around.". One eye witness, the wife of the man interviewed, reportedly thought it was an accident at first. "The spider was completely out of control", she said to reporters.
Daily Life: Area man becomes annoyed that best friend who recently came out keeps name dropping celebrities he now thinks he knows personally.
Area man: This word 'gay'... I just don't think it means what he thinks it means. I don't know, ever since he came out it's like he thinks everything is gay.